January 2010
10 posts
So my dad put me on speakerphone halfway through...
We were discussing old age and he was complaining about his mother in law refusing to wear a hearing aid.
I told him, “Great. At least you’ll be able to hear me talk while I’m changing your fucking diaper.”
3 people who work under him heard me say it. My dad proudly declared, “That was my eldest speaking right there.”
I wish I had known earlier how proud he...
I have a friend
who just came out of her room with a manila envelope’s worth of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore’s trash. Like..their actual fucking waste.
Apparently a few years ago they filmed a movie in the part of Louisiana that she’s from and she creeped around until she found the good stuff.
She now forever owns,
-the Walgreens recipet and instructions to Demi’s birth control.
-An...
If Cinnamon Toast Crunch didn't exist
I would be showering and getting ready for class instead of eating it naked in front of my computer.
And another facebook friend's wedding pictures to...
I don’t like it. Stop getting married. You’re like…12.
I didn't get to tell you all but...
on the last day of winter training camp we had to get in groups and make a fake infomercial for UCF Rowing.
At first my group seemed really excited that they had me. “Good thing Nicole’s here…she’ll have a funny idea.”
And they were right. I did have ideas. I informed everyone of their roles and everyone seemed to think it was really funny. My job was to be the...
Just accepted a friend request on facebook
so that I could check and see if she was married or not. She fucking is. It was fucking worth it.
The family photo shoot, complete with a kissing picture in front of an American flag back drop? Yes…I think so.
trying really hard
to find my elementary school teachers on facebook.
Where are you all?
